Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
