I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
