So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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