Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize