hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize