Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
