I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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