If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize