Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
