Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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