if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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