upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
