We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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