walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
