when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
