how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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