I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Are my feet made of real feet?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize