I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
