I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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