DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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