so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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