i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
