he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
