I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
