Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
