I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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