That's when you crack a 10am beer
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
