Betty ford says i'm here all night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
