Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You need a sexual gate keeper
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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