maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
