she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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