Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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