I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
