your thong is hanging out like whoa
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
