I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
