and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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