Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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