operation harelip BJ is a go
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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