The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
