STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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