who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Damn victory sex feels great
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
