So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize