i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize