I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
