Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
