frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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