Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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