We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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