shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
