i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize