im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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