two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
