I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
