you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
