Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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