question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
