just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
