I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
