She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
