HIV tests are more positive than that guy
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
