you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize