There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize